S3. E20. Tyler
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[00:00:00]
the Lord came to me in my dream, I was standing at the altar to get married to the man that I was dating at the time, and he didn't show up to the altar, and that's when I felt the Lord say, "He's not your savior.
I am."
I was just seeking validation, looking for love in all the wrong places.
I was still operating in denial, and I was still like, " Love addiction, I don't have that. That's silly." Right. Even to this day, when people hear the term love addiction, they're like, "What is that?"
Mm-hmm. Don't we all want love? And it's like, yes, but it's a distorted version-
Welcome to Your Daily Bread podcast. I'm your host, Abbie Stasior, a registered dietitian and certified intuitive eating counselor. My prayer is that these bite-sized episodes will help you heal your relationship with food, improve body image, and ultimately help you grow closer to God. Now, I can't personally heal you, but I'm gonna be directing you to the one that can, and that is Jesus. Also disclaimer, I'm not [00:01:00] a pastor, but a sister in Christ that's offering you some food for thought that you can take into your quiet time with the Lord as your daily bread. Let's dig in.
Welcome back to Your Daily Bread Podcast. Y'all, I am so excited for today's episode. I am joined by guest Tyler Rolling, who is a dear, dear friend of mine in Nashville. It is such a joy to be able to record with her in person. A little bit about Tyler, she is the founder of Daughter Arise, which is a space devoted to helping women encounter Jesus and heal from love addiction so that they can reclaim their identity and walk in the freedom of being beloved daughters of God.
Through her own redemption story, she carries a passion for reconciling hearts back to their creator. Rooted in biblical truth and the transforming love of Christ, her approach weaves together recovery principles, attachment healing, somatic awareness, and embodied practices that help women reconnect with God and learn to live [00:02:00] from a place of rest, safety, and belonging.
Mm-hmm. Through movement, dance, prayer, and honest storytelling, she creates space for women to encounter Jesus, not just conceptually, but personally and deeply within her lived experience. At the heart of her work is the invitation of the Gospel, praise God, to come home to healing, to wholeness, and to the reality of being fully known and fully loved in Christ.
And I'm so excited for this because we have not had an episode like this before, and the stuff that Tyler is going to bring, to this conversation is going to be absolutely transformative for you.
So I'm really excited. Tyler, welcome. Yay, Abby. It is such a just gift and blessing to be here. Oh, girl, thank you so much. So thank you so much for having me. Oh, my gosh. Truly. Of course. Yeah. Of course. And it is such a divine appointment how we met. It really is. For real, and it's crazy that the stuff that we're talking about today [00:03:00] is nothing compared to how we met.
So y'all, y'all don't even know- Yeah ... because it's not in her bio, that,, Tyler and I actually met at a dietician conference in 2025 so she is- Yeah ... a registered dietician as well. And then how would you describe Freedom Prayer? So we met at the dietician conference, but then we met again at Freedom Prayer Training.
Mm-hmm. I feel like I always struggle to describe Freedom Prayer in a sentence because it's so rich. Yeah. Yeah, it's so unique. It's such a beautiful ministry. If I had to describe Freedom Prayer, it's a deliverance ministry, but it's, it's rooted in, healthy attachment- Mm-hmm ... to the triune God- Yeah ... of your relationship with him.
I think they do such a beautiful job of before even, , naming a wound, they want you to first be able to connect with the Lord. Mm-hmm, yeah, that's true. Deliverance ministry can come [00:04:00] with a lot. So, so I, I just think Freedom Prayer does such a beautiful job. It's like a gentle approach- Mm-hmm
Of naming core wounds and being able to, , encounter the Holy Spirit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Tyler and I were being trained in this deliverance Freedom Prayer technique, and they're a nonprofit organization. They're international. Mm-hmm. And I'm wearing my Jesus Say Carbs hat, and she comes up to me and, uh, it was just...
Anyway, our, our friendship blossomed from there. Yeah. And what a gift it is, and you had shared with me that you felt, like, very early on in our friendship, that you felt that the Lord was actually calling you out of dietetics- Right ... to speak on love addiction, codependency, all the things that we have- Mm
in, in your bio, and now you have the ministry and, you know, based out of your story. , So before we get into that, let's pray. Sounds good.
Oh, Father God, good and beautiful God, Lord, your word says that when we draw near to you, you draw near to us, Lord. And I just pray that every single listener can posture their hearts towards you. [00:05:00] Before we get into anything, talking about our wounds and our past and our hurts, Lord, I pray that we can genuinely connect with you and have a relationship with you.
Lord, I pray that this conversation sets the captives free and breaks chains, and out of Tyler's story comes redemption and freedom for so many listeners. Lord, I pray that you give people ears to hear and hearts to receive, and Lord, give them eyes to see you and only you. Lord, I pray that this conversation reconciles people's hearts back to you.
Lord, I pray that by your Holy Spirit, you give us the words to say And it's not what we want to say, but it's what you want to say through us. Thank you for choosing us as your chosen servants and vessels. Thank you, Lord, for going before us, and it's in Jesus' name we pray. Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Amen. Oh, I know, especially talking about freedom prayer, I, really wanted to, just connect first.
Yeah. Yeah, and so tell us about you. It's so good. Tell us about your [00:06:00] story and where this all started. What is love addiction? Yes. So love addiction is essentially an attachment hunger. Mm. It's not really well understood. It's not even in the DSM-5. It's a process addiction that really stems from a lack of attunement and attachment that started in childhood.
Wow. , A lack of attunement and engagement from family of origin. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It can look like unhealthy obsession and fantasy about romance. Mm. Yes. Okay. Yeah, and then how does that impact you in relationships? What does that look like spiritually? Yeah. So spiritually, it stems from an orphan [00:07:00] spirit- Mm
really. Mm-hmm. Where there's a lack of attunement with your earthly parents, and when that happens, you can internalize feelings of shame- Mm-hmm ... and low self-worth and low self-esteem. And so it's a natural response and a way to wanna seek out that validation or that sense of attachment, and it can look in a lot of different ways, different behavior modifications- Mm-hmm
that we turn to to self-soothe, and love addiction can be one of those behavior modifications that can also turn into an addiction. Yeah. Because there's powerful neurochemistry that's happening- Mm ... through the release of dopamine and oxytocin that can become addictive and a way of turning to that coping mechanism, basically.
Wow. Now, how [00:08:00] did you know that you had love addiction? , It became apparent when I moved to Nashville- Mm ... actually, but it took root long before then. I just didn't have words for what I was experiencing. Mm-hmm. And- It looked like from a young age going into fantasy about a potential knight in shining armor, like coming- Mm-hmm
to save and rescue me, which is, you know, seemingly innocent, right? Yeah. But with love addiction, it just, the roots become deeper and the behaviors become more and more centered around seeking validation. And I can remember, writing love letters when I was, like, six, seven years old. Mm-hmm. And being exposed also to sexual content from a young age.
Mm-hmm. Um, and there's- That, like, changes your brain. It really does. Yeah. It really does. There's certain, [00:09:00] self-soothing things that I would turn to. Mm-hmm. Masturbation being one of them, too, from, like, a young age. Mm-hmm. It looks like Turning to idols, essentially Mm.
Mm-hmm ... to try and fill that need that God was meant to fill. Yeah, yeah. Um, and then as I got older, it looked like chasing unavailable partners. It looked like abandoning myself in order to fit into who I thought a potential lover wanted me to be. Mm-hmm. Abandoning myself. And yeah, in Nashville it became apparent.
I was having, , panic attacks and anxiety. I had just left a co-addicted relationship. Mm-hmm. I wouldn't have called it that at the time, but that's what it was. I met someone who I was talking about what I was experiencing. And they were like, "It sounds like you're experiencing love [00:10:00] addiction."
And I was like, "What is that?" Yeah. And they began to explain what it was, and I was like, " That is wild." And then I remembered, this was, like, eight years ago, I was in therapy after a really bad breakup- Mm-hmm ... and she gave me this book on love addiction, and I was like- Oh, wow ... "Yes." You already had that. Yes. Wow.
And what's wild is she told me, my therapist at the time told me about love addiction, gave me this book. But I never read it- Mm-hmm ... because I was still operating in denial, and I was still like, "Love addiction, I don't have that. That's silly." Right. Even to this day, when people hear the term love addiction, they're like, "What is that?"
Mm-hmm. Don't we all want love? And it's like, yes, but it's a distorted version- Mm ... of it. Mm-hmm. Anyways, I'm in Nashville. I'm experiencing,, panic attacks, anxiety. [00:11:00] What I realized I was actually going through withdrawal- Oh, wow ... from the co-addicted relationship. Wow. Yeah.
And it's more than just a breakup, break- breakup pains, needing to cry- Yes ... eat Ben & Jerry's. Yeah, totally. More than that. It, it literally feels like you're dying. Wow. Like, it feels like a withdrawal from a substance. Mm. Like, if someone were to stop taking heroin. Wow. Yeah, I mean, not as intense as that, but again, there's neurochemistry that's really powerful- Mm-hmm
Anyways, I end up, I had just moved to Nashville. Everything was still in boxes, and I had this box of books, and I just start unpacking it, and then I find that book- Wow ... on love addiction. Mm-hmm. I read it in two days, and it all became so clear. And then I went on a walk at Lake Radnor.
Love that spot so much.
The Holy Spirit just met me. Mm. I just cried out to him. I was like, "Lord, I [00:12:00] need you." Just deliver me from this." Mm-hmm. "Would you help me, Lord?" And peace just fell on me, and then I felt the Lord say "I need you to do a 12-step." Wow. And so that began my journey of being delivered from love addiction.
Wow. Amen. Yeah. Praise God. I have so many questions because first, when you, when you say 12-step program, I immediately think AA. Mm-hmm. H- were you basically going to AA, and it's like, "Oh, I don't struggle with that, but I struggle with this," another type of addiction? Or did you find a group that was specific for what you said is, is a process addiction?
It started off, I was like, "Okay, I'll just go to a Co-Dependents Anonymous- Oh, okay ... 12-step So they do have that. Okay. Yeah, they have all different types of 12-step programs. And I'm familiar with 12-step because growing up in a household where there was dysfunction- Mm-hmm ... and addiction, , I had been to AA meetings [00:13:00] before.
And so I knew there was a Co-Dependents Anonymous, so I went there, and then there's also a secular 12-step for love addiction. Okay. So I went to both, when I entered those spaces, I just was like, "There ... I don't sense freedom in this space." Mm. And I felt that because Jesus wasn't at the center of it.
Oh, wow. Yeah, and part of my testimony is the Lord delivered me from New Age. Mm. So I was in a co-addicted relationship deep into New Age, about to live on what I thought was like a commune, if you will. Mm-hmm. And the Lord came to me in my dream, and I was standing at the altar to get married to the man that I was dating at the time, and he didn't show up to the altar, and that's when I felt the Lord say, "He's not your savior.
I am." Wow. And so much of what love addiction is [00:14:00] is looking to someone else to be your savior, to fill that void, to fill that need, that unmet need that you didn't experience in childhood. Yeah, and It doesn't satisfy, so that's why you have to turn to all of those coping mechanisms- Yeah ... to try and fill a void.
And it makes me think of, Matthew 5:6, where it says, "Those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled." Yes. But it's the hunger and thirst for righteousness, for seeking God. Yeah. And we know that when we seek Him, His righteousness first, then everything will be given to us.
Yeah. But it's so hard when from such a young age things have been perverted, and you're seeking- Yeah ... validation and comfort almost innocently, you know? Mm-hmm. It, it starts off so innocent as a child, and you're just trying to cope. Yeah, totally. Jesus encountered you profoundly in that dream. Mm-hmm. , Where was your faith growing up? What did you grow up with? And then tell us a little bit about your home life and where those roots started.
. So I grew up going to [00:15:00] church. Mm-hmm. Raised Baptist, and I remember encountering the Holy Spirit when I was around eight years old, got baptized, and my dad was very adamant about taking us to church, every Sunday. My mom was raised Catholic, and She wouldn't always come to church with us.
She also battled addiction. So there was, brokenness and dysfunction in the household, There was also a lack of, like, discipling. Mm. You know? Mm-hmm, yeah. Went to youth group and stuff like that. But beyond that there, there really wasn't much going on, in the home.
Then when my parents divorced, I was 18, , I stopped going to church. I graduated high school, I was on my own, just started chasing after the world. Mm-hmm. The prodigal story, truly. Yeah. I was just seeking validation, looking for love in all the wrong places.
Yeah. Whether that was through performance, perfection- Mm ... body image. You know, I also had my [00:16:00] own history with disordered eating. That brought me into nutrition. Mm-hmm. , Then I moved to California to get my master's degree in nutrition, and it was out there that I began to get swept up in New Age- Mm
which is very, I would say, popular in that area. Yeah. But the Lord met me so powerfully. He met me and spoke to me in a way that He knew- Mm-hmm ... I needed. Which you didn't deny. Yeah. And I would hear. And He's just so faithful. Amen. Yeah. So we obviously know now that there's stuff in the world, coping mechanisms, that just can't satisfy.
Only Jesus satisfies. Mm. We have to root in Him, His love- That's right ... our identity in Him. Where does that start? If someone wants to root deeper in their identity in the Lord, where do they start with that? There's so much. But it's, it's abiding. Mm-hmm. It's, it's truly abiding.
I think of John 15. Mm-hmm. Of abiding and really finding [00:17:00] attachment to Him. Yeah. And I think of, the bleeding woman- where this woman is, been bleeding for 12 years, most likely outcast, alone- Mm-hmm ... abandoned. We don't know what kind of attachment style she had, but if we had to guess-
it was probably not secure, right? Yeah.
She goes out in public. Mm-hmm. Right? In this crowd of people, and out of desperation and neediness, right? Which PS, Jesus is not afraid of your desperation and your neediness. Mm-hmm. So often in our culture, it's like, "Oh, I don't wanna be needy." Right. "I don't wanna be desperate." Mm-hmm. Meanwhile, the Lord's like, "Come on."
He doesn't turn away from our desperation and our neediness to just reach out to Him. Mm-hmm. To attach. And so she's out there in this crowd, and just if she could reach for His robe, [00:18:00] which there's a bunch of symbolism even in that because the tassels on His robe represent the veil being torn. I didn't know that.
Yeah. That there's symbolism of, He came to set the captives free, to shine a light in the darkness, so she reaches for His robe and instantly healed, but it doesn't stop there. Mm-hmm. Because then He says, "Who touched me?" As if He didn't know. Right. As if the creator of the universe didn't know who touched Him.
Mm-hmm. But what is so amazing about that, and I think it's because Jesus knows the power of testifying in front of others. Mm. The power of testifying and professing our faith in front of others. Mm-hmm. And so the woman says, "It was I who touched you" Mm. And then He says, " Daughter." It's the only time in the Bible He refers to anyone as daughter.
Wow. " Daughter, your faith [00:19:00] has healed you. Go in peace." But then he goes on, he doesn't stop there. Then he goes on to raise Jairus's daughter from the dead, although he says she's not dead, she's sleeping. Right. And this just profound act of resurrection- Mm-hmm ... that God, he doesn't just heal. He heals, yes. He speaks identity, and he resurrects new life.
Mm. He brings dead things back to life. So when we think about what does it look like to attach- It's fixing your eyes on Him. Mm-hmm. It's fixing your eyes on Him. It's getting in His Word to have- Mm ... a revelation of His heart for you. Yeah. Because this is living, it's breathing, it's alive. Mm-hmm.
And I think so often we want to turn to maybe, like, [00:20:00] self-help gurus or, different speakers, and there's nothing inherently wrong with that. But if we're not first looking to Him, seeking His face, reading His Word- Mm-hmm ... to transform us, to renew our mind, which, side note, this is kind of cool. In neuroscience, the word pruning, they talk about this in John 15:5, right?
Mm-hmm. Where He says, "Abide in me- Yep ... and I in you will bear much fruit," and then, " That which doesn't bear fruit, I cut off, and then I prune," right? Yep. He prunes. He cuts off what bears fruit and what doesn't bear fruit. Yes, yes. So He's just cut- cutting and pruning all the time. Yes. Yeah. And in neuroscience- pruning is creating new neural pathways.
It's literally cutting neural pathways- Mm ... that are no longer needed- Mm-hmm ... to create new ones. Yeah, yeah. And that's what Jesus is able to do for you- Yes ... because you had so many brain pathways that were attached to getting dopamine, validation- Yes ... satisfaction from relationships. Yes. Yeah. [00:21:00] Yes. And then Psalm 34:5 where it says- Mm
" Those that look to him are radiant." Mm-hmm. "Their faces are never covered in shame." So it's looking to him, it's seeking him, and also being in community. Mm-hmm. There is so much power in being able to name the wound and confess how that wound perpetuated sin, where the enemy partnered with the wound- Mm-hmm
to then feed you lies about who you were or not. Mm-hmm. And it's bringing it to the light. Yeah. That's what Jesus came to do- Mm-hmm ... to shine a light in the darkness. Yeah. Yeah. Amen. I think that that's even a powerful progression for people to see, because things happen in our childhood where we are taken captive.
It's not our fault- Right ... but wounds are made, and what goes in early goes in deep. Yes. And then [00:22:00] that creates a space for the enemy to come in and tell you that you're not worthy and, so many other lies. And to cope with that, or if we come into agreement with those lies, that can drive us to sin or, have disordered coping mechanisms that aren't honoring to God, that aren't God's original design.
And so it's hard. It's like, oh, how it started wasn't our fault, but how we coped, we wanna show ourselves compassion for that, but that also does require repentance. And that's- Yes ... it's such a hard balance because, and this is something they talk about in freedom prayer, that captives now become prisoners.
Right. And the difference between a captive and a prisoner. Yeah. Was repentance a part of your journey? Oh, yeah. What did that look like? Oh, yeah, big time. There was so much resentment and bitterness in my heart, . In Ephesians, it talks about, bitterness that takes root defiles a person.
Mm. And so often- Mm-hmm ... in Scripture, you know, it refers to forgiving others- Yeah. ... so that- Oh, yes ... you may be [00:23:00] forgiven. Mm-hmm.
And the 12 steps really were the beginning of softening my heart. Mm-hmm. Where my heart had been hardened, where I was operating in pride, I was operating in denial, and I didn't even realize it. Mm-hmm. And the 12 steps, I think, offer such a beautiful framework of what it is to really live a cruciform life.
Mm-hmm. To die to yourself. . To say, " I can't, God can." Mm-hmm. "And I'm going to let Him." Yeah. 12 steps actually were founded by the Oxford Group, which is a Christian group. Mm-hmm. The 12 steps were originally Christian, all rooted in biblical principles. Mm. And then over time, it became secular. Mm. And then it was no longer, God, it was higher power.
And then that's why- Mm ... I believe when I entered those spaces where there was 12 step secular recovery, I wasn't [00:24:00] actually finding freedom because Jesus was not at the center of it. Mm-hmm. And without Him, we can't experience true freedom. Right. Right. We could maybe experience a pseudo taste of freedom.
Mm. But it, it's not a true heart restoration and resurrection- Mm-hmm ... of new life. How do you heal from love addiction?
It's a process, and, you'll hear stories of deliverance of people just being delivered from things- Mm-hmm ... whether it's an eating disorder, any sort of addiction which is beautiful, and that is amazing, and we know it happens, and we believe in that. Mm-hmm. And also, God is a God of process, and He's in the business of formation.
Yeah. We were made in His image, in His likeness. Mm-hmm. His heart for us is to build character to make us more like Jesus. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. And the 12 steps is a formation process, [00:25:00] essentially- Mm-hmm ... where, step one is admitting that you're powerless and being like, "Oh, yeah, let me just lay down any pride and denial that I was walking in."
Because I was just creating more chaos- Yeah, surrender ... trying to, you know, fix it on my own or act as if, right? Mm-hmm. It's walking through a surrender, a surrender of laying it down at the altar, offering your life as a living sacrifice- Mm-hmm ... as the scripture says too. Yeah, yeah.
Right? In view of God's mercy. And, yes. Yeah. And repentance, being able to name the sin, and it's no longer placing blame. We wanna name the wound, and there's also a level of, okay, I need to confess and own my side of the street- Mm-hmm ... of where these behaviors, were just perpetuating sin.
Mm-hmm. And [00:26:00] confess to one another and pray so that you may be healed. Yeah, there's so much power in that too. James 5:16, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now, you do have a dance ministry. Mm-hmm. And that's part of it, and you talk about, somatic practices and embodiment, embodied spirituality.
I feel like people could see that as new age, but what you do is not, and it's so for the Lord, and worshiping with your body. So what do some of those somatic practices look like, and how can people be more comfortable in their own skin where God dwells? Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's funny. When I was in new age, I used to do, , ecstatic dance- Mm-hmm
stuff and, and dance things. That was back in San Diego. And I was like, "You know, I, I guess I just have to lay dance aside," that was a thing of the past. Mm-hmm. And the Lord's like, "No, no, no," "That [00:27:00] has always been my design- Mm-hmm ... and creation for you." I mean, I have memories of when I was really little too, dancing and- Yeah, me too i, I grew up as a competitive dancer and synchronized swimmer, and so- I love it ... movement and expression in that way has always been, so life-giving to me. Mm-hmm. And that's a gift that God gave me. Yeah. Praise the Lord. Amen. And when I moved to Nashville- I began to hold dance workshops where we would just praise the Lord through movement.
Mm-hmm. I mean, David danced all the time. Yep. I mean, he was dancing so much, like, his clothes were coming off. Oh, my gosh. And he's like, "I will be even more undignified than this." Mm-hmm. , And really being able to experience the Lord, not just through mind, which is so powerful, too- Mm-hmm ... but also in body. And in our body and how we can feel the Spirit move in that [00:28:00] way and connect.
And there's freedom that's found in that. Yeah. You know, so much fear of man around what others might think- Mm-hmm ... versus when the Lord captures your heart and you're worshiping unto Him, and He has spoken identity over you and truth over you, there's this release of, "I can't not move and dance- in your presence, Lord." Mm-hmm. And if someone has had a holding pattern of bondage or shame Then when you're moving, there can be a release from that. Mm-hmm. Where, the Lord just meets us, when we surrender it at His feet and let go of image management and what others- Mm-hmm
might think. You almost get into like a flow state- Yeah ... when you're dancing for the Lord and it's worship. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know, you really do And there can be revelation that comes through it, too. Mm. [00:29:00] Like, I've experienced times where , I'm dancing and I'm moving with the Lord, even just in the secret place, like not even with other people around.
Mm-hmm. And He'll just speak to me so tenderly, so kind. Wow. , I think of Zephaniah, too, where He rejoices and He sings over us. And funny story, I went back to San Diego a few months ago for a Christian dance workshop.
And I kid you not, where they hosted the workshop was the same dance studio where I used to do new age dance. Wow. And so the Lord was, like, redeeming, restoring. Oh. Because that's what He does. Yeah, He's so good. That's what He does. He doesn't leave us or forsake us. He, He resurrects. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And didn't you receive a prophetic word there through dance?[00:30:00]
Yes, yes. It was powerful. So, it was called Zion Dance Project. Mm-hmm. And very powerful the facilitator, he he looked at me and he began to dance, and his movements were telling a story of my life, basically. Mm-hmm. It was like he was spilling the tea through movement about my testimony, if that makes sense.
Wow. And I'm just a wreck because I felt so seen. Mm-hmm. At the end of the dance, he spoke and he said, "You will have no other lovers." And girl, it was, it was so powerful. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, and then we did this exercise of, like, being able to b- be across from someone. Mm-hmm. And without saying a word, begin to dance and move based [00:31:00] on what the Holy Spirit might have been speaking to you about that person.
Wow, and it's such a universal language. Yes. Wow. Now, when you got that prophetic word, "You're gonna have no more lovers," someone maybe with a scarcity mindset or maybe still stuck in love addiction would be like, "Am I never gonna get married?" Hmm. "Am I always... Am I gonna be alone?" Or you could also read that to be, "Oh, okay, just I'm only gonna have Jesus, or I need to have Jesus first."
When you prayed on that, filtered it through the Spirit as I know you do, what was coming up for you with that? Like, what did that word mean to you? Yeah. Yeah. I think of the woman at the well. Hmm. That's what I think of. That's what's coming to mind in John 4, where, Jesus meets her, and He's like, "Go tell your husband," as if He didn't know, right, again.
And, she's like, "I don't have a husband." He's like, "You're right. You don't have a husband, you have five." Anyways- ... all of this, and then afterwards she's preaching the gospel [00:32:00] basically. Mm-hmm. Professing that Jesus Christ is the Messiah. Yeah. And I think of isaiah 55 as well, "Come all who are thirsty and drink."
Mm-hmm. Like, there's this imagery of when we try to go to wells and drink from things that will never fill us. Mm-hmm. And so when He gave me that word of, "You will have no other lovers," I thought of, you are no longer going to go to wells that will never satisfy- Mm-hmm ... and quench that thirst.
The only person that can quench that thirst is Jesus. Mm-hmm. And no other lovers, it's not like it's a bad thing to desire marriage. Mm-hmm. Right? That's God-given, but when it becomes idolatry, gosh, so much scripture's coming to mind right now. Mm-hmm. But also in Jeremiah 2:13, where it talks about broken cisterns.
Mm-hmm. "My people have committed two sins. They have forsaken me, [00:33:00] the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water And then Revelation 2:4, speaks of this as well, where it's like, "My people have forsaken me, have forgotten their first love."
Mm-hmm. It's a returning to that
No other lovers is where have I been trying to fill a God-sized hole that only God can fill? Mm-hmm. He literally met me in a dream where I was supposed to get married, and the man doesn't show up to the altar. Wow. And He says, "He's not your savior. I am." Mm-hmm. "Everything you need is found in Me." And I didn't even know at the time I was operating in love addiction.
I look back now and He is just, He is so intentional, and he is such a gentleman. He will not reveal things to us until it is time. Mm-hmm. If he told us [00:34:00] all the stuff that was in our heart all at once- We would not be able to handle it ... oh, my Lord. Yeah, we wouldn't be able to handle it. We wouldn't be able to handle it.
Yeah. Mm-hmm. And he knows. He is the author of our story, and when we surrender the pen to him, if you will- Mm-hmm ... like, all right, Lauren, it's yours. Yeah. It's yours, God. Yeah. I'm curious how you approach relationships now in dating. What does that look like? It's surrendering to the Lord- when am I operating from fear and control? Mm-hmm. Which a lot of love addiction can also stem, we talked about, you know, orphan spirit, but also lust and control.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And- am I seeking out relationship right now to fill a void? Mm-hmm. Or am I abiding in the vine? Am I abiding? Am I operating from that place [00:35:00] of identity as a daughter?
And allowing the Holy Spirit to really guide me- to when and who to date. Mm-hmm. I think there's a lot of idolatry that can happen with marriage and, and dating. Mm-hmm. And so needing to be just honest and lay it down at His feet and really keep in step with the Spirit, and what I'm hearing for you is you're not gonna have any more lovers, but I'm hearing union. Mm. You're not just gonna have, you know, cheap love, you know? You're gonna have a real union, and you are one with Christ. That's right. And he is your, he is your first love. And in my wedding engaged season, it was so beautiful to read and discover scriptures where Jesus says, "You are my bride."
Mm. "You are my bride first." And- That's it ... so that- Yeah ... is what you have first, but I also feel that there is a union coming, and [00:36:00] it's not just gonna be another lover- ... but it's gonna be a real union. Oh, thank you, sister. Yeah. Yeah. I, I was so hesitant to talk about love addiction. Mm-hmm. You know, it was a year ago, the Lord told me I'd be talking about it.
Wow. I was on a plane on my way to a wedding, and I'm just wrecked by the Holy Spirit, bawling my eyes out, and he's like, "You're gonna talk about love addiction." Mm-hmm. And I felt this peace and this, this freedom come over me. Like, Isaiah 61, truly, like- Mm-hmm ... came to mind. I was like, "Whoa, this is, consuming.
Wow." And not long after that, I just began to doubt- Mm-hmm ... and question. As we do. As we do. As we do. I just had this really profound experience, and it was like, "I don't wanna talk about that." Mm-hmm. And then I'm like, "Okay, Lord," and we also do this, where I'm like, "You gotta give me a sign." Like- Yeah ... "Was that really you?"
Real soon. "Give me a [00:37:00] sign." And I, I go to this wedding, and I'm sitting next to this gal, and I hadn't seen her in years. I knew her back in the day before- Mm-hmm ... I was walking with the Lord. And we're just catching up, and she's like, "Yeah, I, I got baptized a couple weeks ago. I'm walking with Jesus." And I was like, "Praise the Lord."
I was like, "Me too," and I- Oh ... I told her part of my testimony, and part of that was my journey with love addiction. And I said the words "love addiction," and her eyes got this big. And I was like, "Oh, no, she thinks I'm crazy. , This is wild." And she's like, "Oh my gosh, I, I think I have that." Wow. And I began to explain to her what it was, and then that's when the Lord was like, "That's your sign."
Mm-hmm. But all of that to say I was hesitant to talk about love addiction because the enemy was telling me that by talking about it- No one would wanna be with me. Mm. Or that it would disqualify me from being able to be in union. Mm. Which we [00:38:00] know is a lie. Right, it is. And then Revelation 12:11, the Lord kept highlighting that
they overcame him by the blood of the lamb and the power of their testimony. Amen. And if the Lord told me that I'd be speaking about it, then ultimately... You're gonna be okay ... I'm gonna be okay. Yeah. I need to release the outcome- Yes ... and trust that He's a good father. Mm-hmm. He's a good shepherd, and He will guide me where I need to go.
Yeah. All I have to do is hear His voice, be obedient- Mm-hmm ... and continue to die to myself. Yeah. Which is not easy to do, but He calls us to do it. It's definitely not easy. Yeah. And , just speaking on behalf of Manny, he said, " when I was dating and would look at women, if they, you could tell they weren't healed and they weren't rooted in the Lord," he was like, "That was really a turn-off for me."
'Cause he's like, "I'm looking for a godly wife. I want [00:39:00] someone rooted in the Lord that knows their identity, that's not gonna be grasping at me." And he said, you know, very early on in our relationship "I cannot be Jesus for you." That's right. "I can't fill that void for you." So it's so the enemy that would speak that over you, saying that like, oh, if you tell your testimony, that disqualifies you from marriage, because it certainly doesn't, and I think it's actually gonna pave the way for someone to be like, "Oh, this girl's healed.
She is rooted in Jesus. Okay, that's the wife that I want." Yeah. And even if, you know, as long as we're on this side of eternity, right? Mm-hmm. We're gonna be walking through something- Yeah ... with the Lord. Right. Mm-hmm. You know, you're never gonna be wholly healed until we arrive- Mm-hmm ... in heaven. Right, not completely, yeah.
Right? Yeah. And, and that's that journey of sanctification and formation, and I think releasing that idea that I must be wholly healed- Mm-hmm ... too is important. Yeah. That it's more that heart posture of humility- of I [00:40:00] know my brokenness. And there's a willingness to surrender it to Him.
Yeah. I think of Jeremiah 6 verse, I think it's verse 13, where it says, people saying, "Peace, peace," acting as if everything is okay- Mm-hmm ... when it's not okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And yeah, so just releasing the pressure , the Lord calls us to humility- more than anything, you've done an incredible work, and you're being obedient to how the Lord is calling you in this season and to speak on these things.
It takes a lot of courage and a lot of vulnerability, and I really appreciate you sharing all this. Mm. Thank you so much for having me, Abby. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Is there anything else that you feel like is on your heart that you wanted to say that didn't get to say, or you think would be helpful for any other listeners that are here?
Hmm.
That Who the sun sets free is free indeed and That there is nowhere that you can run to [00:41:00] escape His presence. Mm-hmm. When we're running after Him, now I'm thinking of Hebrews 12. Mm-hmm. Where it's like, " Since we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses, let us throw off that which hinders us and the sin that so deeply entangles us, and run the race set before us."
And just, like, running towards Him. Yeah. Running towards Him, seeking His face, getting into the Word, seeking out community. Mm-hmm. God-fearing community. And that God will not leave you in your brokenness. I also think of John 8 with the adulterous woman. Mm-hmm. Where He speaks "If any of you have not sinned..."
Throw a stone. Mm-hmm. And then the only person left standing is Jesus. Right. And the adulterous woman, who I imagine has, is feeling so much shame. And he bows down, he gets low with her. Mm-hmm. That's what Jesus does, is like he gets even [00:42:00] lower, lower still, to raise us up. Yeah. Amen. And speak life and speak truth and say, "Neither do I condemn you.
Go and sin no more." Mm-hmm. Go and sin no more. And then in John 8:12 it says, it speaks about the light- Mm-hmm ... and the darkness, and how it just always comes back to that. That He's the light of the world. Yeah. That He came to set the captives free. Bringing it back to isaiah 61. Mm. "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners."
And that's the good news That is the good news So Thank you, Jesus. Yeah. Thank you, Jesus Thank you, Abby. [00:43:00] Thank you, Tyler. Yeah. Love you. Love you. Now, where can people find you? All the things, we'll have everything linked up in the show notes, of course. You can find me on Instagram- Mm-hmm
@tylerrolling__. I love it. Well, check that out in the show notes, y'all. Thank you, Tyler, for being here today. Love you, girl. Thank you. Love you.
thank you for tuning in to this week's episode of Your Daily Bread Podcast. Now, if anything about this episode resonated with you, I wanna encourage you to send it to three sisters in Christ who may also wanna steward their bodies better.
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