S2. E28. Why I'm not "sweating for the wedding"
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I've heard it said before, we don't operate based on external pressure. We operate based on internal prayer. I'm not sweating for the wedding. I'm not trying to steward my body well for one day. I'm trying to set myself up for a marriage and a lifetime, and I'm trying to prepare my body now.
To be in the healthiest, strongest place possible to bear children, to be fruitful and multiply.
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[00:01:00] hello. Hello y'all. I have some good news and maybe you have seen it on social media, but I am engaged. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you Lord. Oh my gosh, y'all. It was such an incredible engagement and. Wow. I am just so in awe of God, truly. He goes before us, he prepares a table, and it was just the most perfect proposal and day and wow.
I, am just so grateful. And y'all know that one scripture, I'm paraphrasing. I don't know exactly where it is in the gospels, but Jesus is saying. If your earthly father knows how to give you good gifts, how much better do I know you? So how much better gifts can I give you? And some, something like that.
Y'all know [00:02:00] what verse I'm talking about and I'm like, God, you are such a girl, dad. Literally, Jesus is a girl dad, and I am. So grateful because it was just, it was so wonderful. So I woke up that morning, literally got my cycle, and I was feeling terrible. It was one of those cycles that was just not, not pleasant, not, not great.
So even though I'm cycle sinking, it was just one of those cycles. So I woke up, on a Saturday, when I practiced Sabbath. Make myself breakfast. And then I end up laying on the couch with my heating pad pass out, literally fall asleep until 2:00 PM I had a massage booked that day, so I end up going to my massage.
I wasn't late. Praise God. And then I had lunch scheduled with a friend and I had even asked her 'cause I knew she was involved in the engagement, and talking to my fiance Emmanuel. So I said to her, I was like, Hey, do I need to look cute for this Laie? 'cause I'm like, not feeling great.
And she's like, no, no, no, it's just gonna be us. Like, don't worry. Like [00:03:00] I would tell you. And I'm like, all right. So I show up to lunch and we're having a great time. We're catching up. And then when the check comes, my fiance, now fiance, , had, had already, he paid for the check and there was a love note inside of the check and.
It was just such a sweet card, such a sweet love note. And it ended with, today's the day, I'll see you later. And I'm like, oh my gosh. It was so exciting. And then my friend Amanda was like, okay, now we're gonna go back to your apartment. We're gonna get ready and then I'll drive you to the proposal.
And we had so much fun getting ready. We're blasting music. I was able to just kind of put my, my period symptoms off to the side. Took a couple Advil and it was, it was wonderful. And I roll up to the engagement location. And I see my family there.
They're all taking photos, video. His family was there and he had this beautiful [00:04:00] flower arch with my favorite flowers on it. Blue hydrangeas are my favorite flower. And he was just looking and dapper of course. And I remember it was probably about a year ago, he said to me one time, he's like, yeah, I mean y'all.
My fiance, Emmanuel has been dreaming about this day literally he is so romantic and has really been daydreaming about this day and, his wedding and getting married and proposing. It's just, it's so sweet. Like when we first started dating, he showed me, he had like a whole Pinterest board.
He's like, here are like some photo options I wanna do with my future wife and hopefully that's you. And it was just so sweet. Like literally this man had a Pinterest inspo board. Like, we love this, like love this for, for both of us. It was just so sweet. And so he had said probably about a year ago, and yeah, I clocked this.
He said, yeah, I always imagined myself proposing wearing a blue [00:05:00] suit. And I'm like, all right, I'm gonna clock that. And light blue is my favorite color. And he looks the so dapper in light blue. So I knew, like, when we were getting dressed, I was like, I gotta wear light blue. I'll wear white for the other engagement and bridal, engagement era and wedding festivities and activities.
But this one I feel like I can, I can wear a color. And it was just, it was so perfect. And then he surprised me with an engagement party with some of our friends here in Nashville afterward. And it was just, it was so sweet. It felt so holy. And , his family, my family gave some speeches and it was just, it was so Christ centered and we got prayed over.
It was, it was wonderful to just be stepping into covenant like that. And, . It is very hard to surprise me. Like I am very much the planner in our relationship and it's very hard to surprise me, but I remember saying to him a while back, here's my ideal recipe for my proposal. I would love to.
Be surprised, but I also don't wanna look [00:06:00] gross in the photos. Right? That's fair. And so it was nice that I didn't know it was gonna happen on that day, and it was a surprise. But he also gave me time too to prepare and get ready. And it was so much fun getting ready and just that hour like.
You know, you're building up the anticipation and I didn't know where we were going, like where the engagement was. It was a pretty popular park in Nashville, but him and I had never been there together. So it's nice that that is now a special location for the two of us. But when we were rolling up, I'm like, where are we going?
Like this was not, I thought we were going to a place that him and I had been to before. So it was nice to have like a new location and it really, it got me off the scent for sure. So, praise God. All glory to God. We are so excited to be entering this engagement season and preparing for covenant. And, I really wanted to talk about today why I will not be sweating for the wedding.
We see this so much in the bridal industry and with so many brides where they feel this pressure [00:07:00] to be the smallest size that they can possibly be. Literally striving for thinness for one day and. In my position as a registered dietician, I've been health coaching people for eight years. I see the negative ramifications of that.
I see people in their first year of marriage gaining the weight back that they had lost, and most of the time they're gaining more weight back than where they originally started. And then they're coming to me, they're like, have I gained 30 pounds in my first year of marriage? I feel terrible. I also see it the other way where people try and keep up with that same exercise routine and that same restrictive eating pattern or whatever diet they were following into marriage, like whatever they were doing before the wedding.
They try and continue that after the wedding is done, but the issue is what they were doing before wasn't sustainable. So now they have a ton of disordered eating. They have [00:08:00] anxiety and fear around foods. And potentially needing disorder. So I'm like, I don't wanna be in either of those camps, and I don't want to just be so focused on one day because this is not , this is just the starting point, the kickoff, the tee off for my marriage covenant.
And it's, it's about that. It's. About the marriage covenant that we are making before God and becoming one flesh and just making that commitment to each other and having the Lord be our third strand. And so we gotta keep the main thing, the main thing. And when people are so focused on looking a certain size for their wedding day, it takes the emphasis off of the main thing because now you're.
Striving to look a certain way. So focused on external looks and really doing things based on external worldly pressure, [00:09:00] not based on what God actually wants for you, because we really need to be Seeking his kingdom, his righteousness. When we do that, Jesus makes us holy,
he's refining us in, in, in our sanctification process. That's what we need to be focused on. I need to be focused on how do I prepare myself to be a wife, a godly wife, and to step into this next season, and y'all don't get it twisted. It's not that I'm not stewarding my body, I'm being very intentional about how I'm stewarding my body, but it's not with the goal or the motivation to be losing weight for my wedding day.
It's not with that motivation because one Samuel 16, seven, the Lord doesn't look at our outward appearance. He looks at our heart. The Lord doesn't care what, what I look like on my wedding day, right? He cares about my heart. Is my heart postured towards him? Am I ready to fully step [00:10:00] into being
a biblical, godly wife and everything that entails, so that is more important to the Lord. So it's not that I'm not stewarding my body, but I'm letting the Lord lead me in in what that looks like. So we're gonna get into our scripture today and I'll start us off in prayer. Father God, thank you so much for this day.
Lord, we just praise you and thank you for always going before us preparing a table, Lord. And thank you for. For delighting in in your sons and daughters. Lord, your word says that you order the steps of the Godly and you delight in every detail of their lives, all the details of their lives, Lord. So thank you for delighting in us Lord, and we delight in you.
God, you are so good. God you are. Holy God. Thank you for sending your son Jesus to. Be our example and our model. Lord, thank you for putting us through the refiner fire so that we can be [00:11:00] sanctified and look more like you.
Lord, I just pray that this word is incredibly healing to future bride. People that are already engaged and in this season or about to enter this season, and I also pray that this is healing for people who are past this season. That are already married and maybe did sweat for the wedding and maybe did have some worldly motivations that snuck in there.
Lord, I just pray that your heart seeps through bleeds through this episode, Lord, and that there is no shame, no condemnation. 'cause we know that there's no condemnation in Christ Jesus, and shame is not from you. So we just bind that up and rebuke that, Lord, we reject that and replace that with your love, your peace, your truth, your grace and your mercy.
And I pray that everything that's said in this episode is not what I want to say, but what you want to say through me. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.
The scripture that I chose today is one that we've talked [00:12:00] about many times on the podcast, but it's relevant for this topic and really my anchor scripture in this season, one of the anchor scriptures in, in this season, first Timothy. Four eight. And that says, for physical training is of some value. But godliness has value for all things holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.
So what the scripture is saying is that it's not that physical training, it's not that exercise is bad. It does have some value, right? The Lord has given us and trusted. In us, these physical human bodies to steward and there is so much value and research backs us of the benefits of physical activity and exercise resistance training and cardiovascular exercise, endurance exercise, like all of this is so good for our bodies.
But we have to [00:13:00] keep the main thing. The main thing. As Christians. Yes, we are called to steward our body, wear temple of the Holy Spirit. But our main goal is godliness, to look more like Christ and what Paul is saying here in this letter to Timothy, is that godliness has value for all things. In this life and the life to come. So we need to keep our eyes focused on eternity, not for things that are going to fade away or what. Colossians two 20 to 23 says, things that are going to perish with, use human commands and teachings. Like don't focus on those things that are going to fade away.
Keep your eyes on things eternal. Keep your eye on the covenant. And what God is doing, what God is trying to do in you. Because if marriage is a physical representation of how Jesus loves the church and how he died for [00:14:00] the church. So if marriages are a physical representation of that and the gospel, then we gotta keep the gospel.
The main thing, we gotta keep godliness. The main thing and marriage is, and I've learned this from Tim Keller in his book, the Meaning of Marriage that we, , read during premarital counseling. Is marriage is a sanctifying experience. So the person that God has for you to marry should trigger you, should, point at those things that are not Christlike, so that in marriage you can work that out and hopefully you're working out with fear and trembling. That's what we have to keep our eyes focused on. Now, the enemy hates God. The couples does not want kingdom building, kingdom promoting Godly. Couples to come together. So the enemy is going to do anything to steal, kill, and destroy your joy, distract you, tire you out.
Bombard you with [00:15:00] so many other distractions and things that we see in the wedding industry to take you away. Take your eyes away from the main thing. So we need to be diligent about having blinders on. Keeping our eyes, seeking him first, his kingdom, his righteousness, because everything else will fall into place.
We are just resting in the fact and we pray every day Lord, thank you for going before us and preparing a table. Thank you for unfolding the plans that you have for this wedding. We're not planning this wedding. We're going to God. 'cause God has already prepared it. Lord, what is the wedding date that you have for us?
Lord, what venue do you want us to get married? What is the budget like? We're not coming up with the budget. We're preying on everything. Lord, who do you want there? Who do you want? By our side? You've gone before us. Who are the people that are tried and true people that are not only here for us in this season, but are going to be with us in the next season and are gonna be with us in the future?
The wedding industry, honestly, from what I've seen and experienced, is very demonic. And it takes things away from the main thing.. Society says that you need to look your smallest on your [00:16:00] wedding day, and you need to be, striving and working out so hard to, I see on TikTok all the time, like, oh, like where's my waist?
Like, my waist is missing. Oh, I'm gonna look like a grain of rice on my wedding. I'm sorry. Like, is that the goal? Like, as a godly woman, shouldn't we like, want to take up space? Because we are a light for the Lord. Wow. Like stand confidently and like Hebrews, Hebrews 4 16, 4 12, 1 of those verses, I know it's in Hebrews four, it says We need to approach God's throne with confidence because it is a throne of grace anyway.
So I just think we should be walking through life with confidence because our confidence and our joy comes from the Lord. So. I'm not sweating for the wedding for one day because that's what the world says to do. So I reject that. However, it's not that I'm not stewarding my body in this season, but I have been working on my healthy lifestyle with the Lord and locking in.
I recently did an [00:17:00] episode on how to find consistency with the healthy lifestyle without it turning into obsession. And I talked about,, that one passage in Luke about. Rest, worship and delight and how that is my recipe and how I really yield to the Holy Spirit to guide my exercise, like I haven't come up with my exercise plan.
I pray on that. And there are times when the Lord really wants me to accelerate and like this week he's really telling me to lift heavier weights and do more cardio and really go after it. And the week after I got engaged, it was like light walks.
Don't use your weighted vest. Just keep it really light. Do a lot of stretching, little Pilates. But just go in like light, gentle walks and rest. But now that I'm in follicular phase, ovulation phase, the Lord's like, Hey, we're right. Ramp it up. And so I am yielding to the spirit and the Lord is showing me my exercise plan.
I eat intuitively. So the Lord is guiding me with how [00:18:00] to eat, and I'm in tune with the cues that my body is sending me to guide how I'm eating that's best for my hormones and my gut health. And so I'm always tinkering with things like, what is my body telling me and how can I course correct? What I'm doing to make my body feel best, and what is the spirit leading me to do?
So I'm yielding to the spirit. I'm yoked with Jesus. And Jesus and I are partnering with my healthy lifestyle because , I'm not sweating for the wedding. I'm not trying to steward my body well for one day. I'm trying to set myself up for a marriage and a lifetime, and I'm trying to prepare my body now.
To be in the healthiest, strongest place possible to bear children, to be fruitful and multiply. That's the command from the Lord. So that's what I'm focused on, long-term things, preparing my body and my hormones and my gut health, my muscles for childbirth, and bearing children and keeping up with children and future grandchildren.
So that's what I'm focused on, not just one day, a [00:19:00] snapshot in time. So anytime that you feel that pressure. To do things the worldly way or swept for the wedding, . Are you trying to please man? Or are you trying to please God?
Because success to the Lord, we've talked about this a million times. Success to the Lord is obedience. Your job is to be obedient to how the Lord is calling you to steward your body. His job is the result. So if you're meant to lose weight in this season, it will happen naturally. And I'll be honest with y'all, I have lost a couple times.
I notice it, other people haven't noticed it, but we know our bodies best and I have lost a little bit. I don't weigh myself, but I can just feel in my body and it is not because I'm striving for it, it's just happening naturally because I am following what the Lord is calling me to do and that's in his will in in this season.
And there have been other seasons where that hasn't been in his will and that hasn't been the result. And that's okay too. I learn in that and I find contentment in that. It's a learned experience to find contentment in any circumstance. And we'll have an episode on that soon. [00:20:00] Uh, the Lord had me map out the rest of the years episodes, and y'all, we, oh my gosh, there's gonna be, oh, so many, so many good things coming up on the podcast.
I've heard it said before, we don't operate based on external pressure. We operate based on internal prayer. So how I steward my body is a direct result of what the Lord has revealed to me in my prayer time. And that's not just my quiet time in the morning. I mean, we're called to be praying without ceasing.
So that's that dialogue, conversational prayer throughout the day with the Lord. I'm communing with the spirit throughout the day to guide my eating and exercise choices, even my supplement choices. So. I pray that this is helpful. I pray that this is a comfort and we just rebuke any, uh, distractions or, plans or schemes from the enemy to try and distract anyone in the season and pray for a hedge of protection.
No weapon formed against us will [00:21:00] prosper. And keep your eyes on the main thing. Keep your eyes seeking godliness because that is most important as you're entering marriage Covenant. Or if you're just a bridesmaid in someone's wedding, right? Like don't be trying to lose weight for that or losing weight for a vacation.
We get so focused on these events that come and go, and it's not about that. Yes, you wanna steward your body well, but the goal is not to lose weight. You're not doing that to lose weight. I always come back to living that first Corinthians 10 31 life. Whatever you do, whether you eat or drink, do it all for the glory of God.
Do it all for the glory of God and my exercise routine, I'm able to give God glory and be like, yep, I'm doing this because the Lord told me to. The Lord provided a way for me to be able to get a Pilates membership. I didn't always have that provision, right? I didn't always get that release from the Lord to sign up for that membership.
And so I'm able to give him glory in all of those things, and he is the one leading me to all this. I'm not relying on my own understanding of [00:22:00] how to steward my body, and I hope that people don't assume that because I'm not sweating for the wedding, that I'm just like letting myself go eating whatever I want.
Oh, no, no, no, no. We are very disciplined, we are called to steward our body well, and to have a reverence for being a temple of the Holy Spirit. The word says you were bought at a price, like take this seriously. So I do take this stewardship seriously. But my goal is stewardship over the long term, making sure I have a firm foundation for my healthy habits.
Finding consistency without obsession and not. Having worldly motivations or just sweating for the wedding or one day, 'cause it's not about that. So I pray that this is helpful and if anyone needs support with a healthy lifestyle, we have a couple ways to work with me. In the show notes, you will see the link to book a Free Food Freedom in Christ call where we get on a quick call and we, chat for 20 minutes and I give you some quick tips for nutrition, a couple scriptures that speak into your situation.
And I also am offering now. A [00:23:00] biblical nutrition audit option. So if you want something that's more in depth, you can pay for an audit where you send me, you fill out a form, you send me your preferences, the foods that you like and don't like, anything that you're allergic to. Little bit about your lifestyle and what you're struggling with when it comes to nutrition.
A three day food log. So what's typical for you, what are your patterns? And then I send you a whole multi-page document with suggestions on how to eat. In a more biblical way, how to eat in a more nutrient dense way. I give you meal and snack suggestions as applicable, and also scriptures that speak into your situation and even podcast episodes that I would recommend that you listen to that speak into your situation if you haven't already listened to those yet.
So that nutrition audit is. Much more . In depth and gives you more information. It is a lasting resource more than just a free call, but the free call is a really great place to start, and then you could do the nutrition audit if you want. But all of that is linked [00:24:00] in the show notes.
So thank you so much for listening to this. Love y'all, and I will see you next week.
