Episode 18 Transcript
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Abbie: Welcome to your daily bread with co hosts, Abbie Stasior and Hannah Calhoun. We're here to be your weekly source of spiritual nourishment, guiding you to find food freedom in a deeper connection with Christ.
Hannah: As we explore the intersection of faith and nutrition, these bite sized episodes will help you heal your relationship with food and your body through practical advice, biblical wisdom, and heartfelt encouragement.
Abbie: And as a disclaimer, we are not pastors, but passionate registered dietitians and sisters in Christ, offering our insights to support you on this faith filled journey to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Join us by taking a seat at our table as we break bread and allow God in to break the chains of diet culture.
Hannah: Hello. Hello. So today we have a lovely guest, Haley Erickson, who's going to be unpacking with us, um, self control versus restriction. This is a really important topic and we're super excited to have her on here and her insight. Um, so Haley, you want to introduce yourself to our listeners
Haley: Hello. Thank you so much for having me on the podcast. I'm excited to be here. You guys are doing amazing stuff. Um, a little bit about myself. So I struggled with an eating disorder and exercise addiction in college. And by the grace of God, the one place where I was running from him, which was a gym.
That's where Jesus chased me down to save me. Literally an elderly woman approached me when I had reached rock bottom and the next day shared the gospel with me and led me to Christ. Um, so Jesus has completely redeemed my story. And now led me to the work that I'm doing today. So I do nutrition coaching with biblical counseling, as well as personal training and speaking.
And, um, right now my focus with my businesses is I just launched my first Bible study called fuel your purpose. And it's a Christ centered approach to helping people overcome their food, exercise, and body image challenges. So that they can fulfill their God given purpose. And so my focus is really trying to foster that community because we weren't created to do this life alone.
Um, so I'm really looking to get, um, women to sign up for that and really just shepherd over the larger community in that, and I just launched it the new year, so it's all new, and looking to continue to grow as a trainer and then do more public speaking this year as well.
Abbie: Amazing. So impressive. So amazing.
I'm so happy that we all got connected because we're all just, you know, really trying to help people heal through Christ and through, through his word. Um, so we will definitely link up, uh, everything that Haley just mentioned in the show notes. So definitely check that out. If that's something that interests you.
Hannah: Yeah, I have goosebumps. That was like, um, that's just wonderful. Wonderful. Wonderful. The work that you're doing. Yeah, and praise God for that, I wouldn't have had to approach you.
Haley: It's all been God's work in my life. Nothing I can take credit for other than my sin.
Hannah: So Haley, I know you have, um, a passage to, to start us off today.
I'm looking forward to hearing it.
Haley: Yeah, so I'm going to read from Galatians 5, verses 16 through 25, which says, So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.
They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. So The acts of the sinful nature are obvious. Sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, idolatry, and witchcraft. Hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, , selfish ambition.
Dissensions, factions, and envy, drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, Faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Against such things there is no law.
Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking, and envying each other.
All right, so yeah, when it comes to self control versus restriction, I think what the Lord has shown me in my journey, um, like the biggest challenge with restriction, if we think of the word just restriction, like if you were to look up the definition of that, to restrict is to control. Right? And so, um, if we are trying to take control, we cannot possibly be under the Spirit's control, under the Holy Spirit controlling us.
And so, for many of us, when it comes to our relationship with food, um, we try to control food, right? We rely on different forms of dieting to try to control food, to try to make our bodies look a certain way. And the problem why a lot of us struggle with maybe overeating or binge eating or different struggles with food is because we are trying to take control, which means we're operating in the flesh.
We're not living under the Holy Spirit's control if we're trying to take control. And so true freedom is found. Um, what God has shown me is that freedom is found in our surrender, which is the opposite of control or opposite of restriction. And so really the biggest thing that the Lord has shown me is that, um, when we try to control something, like the more you control something, the more that thing ends up controlling you, because the more we control that thing, the more we create an idol of it.
And that starts to then take the throne of our heart and we cannot serve two masters. And so if we are trying to control something that idol takes the throne of our heart, Jesus is no longer on the throne and that idol starts to govern our lives. And so, um, control brings bondage, but true freedom is found in our surrendering to the Lord Jesus Christ and truly walking by the spirit, which is abiding in Christ, letting him be on the throne and living fully surrendered and yielded to him.
Abbie: That is so good. That's so good. And there really is a fine line when we are just bound by diet culture and just a disordered relationship with food. Like we want to have fruit of the spirit of self control. But I think if we still have that diet culture mentality, what we think is self control and discipline actually rears its head as restriction.
Haley: in order to truly like walk by the spirit, it's, um, it's truly coming to the place of seeing that we can't do this life on our own. Like it is placing no confidence in our own flesh. And so we truly like won't depend on God until we We come to the end of ourselves and see that like, God, I cannot do this Christian life in my own strength.
Like that is the beginning of like the true spirit filled life and depending on God because we can't do this life in our own strength. Like only Jesus can save us and he wants to live his life in and through us through the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Um, and If we don't understand that we're going to be trying to live this Christian life in our own strength, which is no strength at all.
Right. And so like God's word says too, that his grace is sufficient. Like his power is made perfect in our weakness because when we're weak, then we see that he is strong. It's not a strength of our own. It comes from him. And that only comes when we come to the end of ourselves and see that we can't do this life in our own strength.
Hannah: Yeah. And it's so true, like, like how you said, only God can save us. Like, we, when we understand that he is the great physician, the great healer, that God sent his son to die and resurrect so that we can experience eternity in him. Like, when we're trusting in the promise of eternal life with God in our heavenly Perfect bodies, not this flesh, like, I feel like people almost, the control with food, there's so much fear around that, like there's the people are afraid of getting sick, people are afraid of, of, uh, you know, being afflicted by like diseases and different things that they start to control and restrict their food so severely that then there's a whole other sickness, which of course we know is, is disordered eating and eating disorders.
That's a whole other sickness. And like, when we let God in and know that only he can save us, we're no longer scrambling to save ourselves by restricting all carbohydrates or, you know, cutting out, you know, food groups and, and, and different meals and things. Like we were seren like I love that you said freedom is in the surrender, like surrendering that control.
And I think
Haley: too, like that, Um, what goes with that surrender? Like, cause if we really peel back the layers, like I'm someone that always wants to get to the root of like, what's beneath the surface here. And if we look at like that desire for control with food, like what is really beneath the surface of that?
So we can understand what are the lies we're believing because like, we're really falling into Satan's deception and then walking in sin if we're believing lies instead of living from the truth of God's word. And so if we think of like. This desire to control food. Why are we wanting to control food?
Like we're trying to control because we're afraid of food, right? Because of the fear of gaining weight because of the fear of not looking a certain way and like not being loved if we don't look a certain way. And so like the lies there are. Um, like food is bad. That's a lie. First off, we're fearing food and not appreciating that it's a gift from God.
Um, we're believing a lie that our identity is found in our appearance instead of in Christ. We're believing a lie that, um, what other people say about us matters more than what God says about us. And so, like, when we really peel back the layers, it's like, no, we need to take those thoughts captive because If we're trying to control, like we're really living a lie, we're falling into Satan's trap.
And we, if you are in Christ, like you've been redeemed, like you have a choice to either walk in that freedom and live from the truth or believe Satan's lies and continue to live in chains and bondage, even though you've been set free. Um, and so I think also for me, what's been really helpful is that in order to let go of that desire to control food, it's not just surrendering the food, but it's, you know, It's really those deeper layers, which is that desire to find your appearance and what you look like and like, find your identity in what you can do.
And so it really is surrendering that needing to look a certain way to be loved and instead choosing to , believe the truth about who God says you are, and that that is the most important voice is only who he is and what he's done and what he says about you because of that. And I think like truly when we.
Know our identity in Christ like we can walk in that freedom because like our behavior flows out of our identity But it first begins with getting to know who Jesus is and what he has done to save us only then can we see who? We are in him
Hannah: We we know that obviously self control is a fruit of the Spirit and You know when you're you're talking about like peeling back the layers seeing what's underneath Really, when we're so, rigid with our food, with our movement, whatever it may be that we're struggling with, that we are trying to be the ones who are in control instead of surrendering it to God, there is fear.
Like, when we peel back the layer, like, the common denominator is the fear. And we know, like, God's word tells us that God does not give us a spirit of fear. He gives us power, love, and, and self, self discipline, sound mind. And so what would, like, self control and self discipline look like, you know, versus restriction?
Because restriction, to me, is, there's fear behind that. And so that's how we can kind of, like, identify and check in with ourselves. And let me know if you agree like, you know, because we are called to have self control, right? But once it's coupled with fear It's like we we are we're trying to do it on our own and it's like you said like it's taking over the throne It's becoming the idol like it's taking control of us now.
Haley: Yeah Yeah, I think, um, for me and my journey too, and like how the Lord has really shown me like what it means to walk by the spirit. Although every day I'm asking for help with doing so, um, the Lord has really shown me this through my struggles with anxiety and, um, it's not to go into like that journey with anxiety, but like.
It's really been me coming completely to the end of myself, like suffering so much and seeing like, God, I cannot have victory over this sin struggle without you. Like, I cannot do anything apart from you. John 15 says like, apart from me, you can do nothing like it, like we can do nothing apart from Jesus.
Like it's his life living in and through us, through the Holy spirit. And so like one thing the Lord has, um, really brought me to doing is just like. A prayer of like daily surrender, like every morning when I read his word, it's like, Lord, like I, I cannot possibly do this Christian life apart from you.
Like I couldn't save myself and just as much, I can't bear any fruit apart from you. And I can't have victory over sin apart from you. Like I must remain in you. And like, father, would you fill me with your Holy spirit? Obviously we have the Holy Spirit, but we need to be filled by the spirit and controlled by the spirit, like yielded to the spirit.
And so, um, the Bible says in Luke, I can't remember the exact verse, but it's, if your heavenly father delights to give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him. And so it's like, if that's what his word says, then you better believe it and you better ask him for it. And so I ask God every day, like, would you fill me with your spirit and Holy Spirit, like I surrender myself.
Spirit, soul, and body to you. I ask that you would take full control over me today. Help me walk by the spirit so that I do not gratify the sinful desires of my flesh. Like help me live fully surrendered to you because that is. The only source of freedom is found in being fully surrendered to you. Um, and it's really also me asking the Holy Spirit, like, would you show me to what those, um, sin patterns are in my life that caused me to try to operate in the flesh?
Like, would you help me identify those so that I can repent of that and quickly turn back to you and walk in your truth and your freedom? And so for me, like, I mean, there's plenty of sin struggles that I have, but like, One of the biggest things was my control, like me trying to take control over this life and I can't have freedom if I'm trying to take control.
Like, again, it's going to keep me in that chains and bondage. And so it's really like that surrendering completely and walking by faith, like, and living like Galatians 2 20 says for, I've been crucified with Christ. So like, that old sinful nature has been crucified. It is no longer I who lives, but it's Christ who lives in me.
So Jesus lives in us through the Holy Spirit, and it says, This life I now live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. So it is truly like, surrender. It's prayer, which is how we depend on God. It is walking by faith, like taking God at his word and truly like living as one with Christ, because we are a new creation in him, like his life, death, resurrection, ascension is ours.
Like our position, our identity, we are in Christ. And so it's like living that out by faith.
Abbie: Oh, this is all so good. Yeah. Like, thank you so much. And when you were talking about like praying, like Lord, show me the sinful ways in my nature that, that are not of you that are not glorifying you, the things in me that need to be adjusted and fixed, uh, made me think of one, uh, Psalm 139.
And what I love about that Psalm is that the first part talks about how we are fearfully and wonderfully made and how we're, you know, he knit us in the womb and all this and he just made us so intentionally and we really feel God's love and we affirm our identity in him before you get to the end where it's like, search me for all my anxieties, my ways that are not your ways.
So I think when you are going into that prayer, make sure. All of everybody listening, that you are affirming yourself in Christ and examining yourself. And this is a spiritual practice called the examine. Um, but you, but first you really need to make sure that you are affirming yourself and seeing yourself how God sees you coming from a place of love so that the correction.
isn't criticism. It's not condemning. And you're doing that in, in partnership with God too. Um, so I love that, that prayer is a part of your daily practice because it has to be a daily surrender. We need that daily bread. We need to daily be, you know, laying down our own life and picking up our cross and following God.
And, um, wow, this is, this is amazing. Yeah. All so good.
Haley: And I think too, back to what Hannah was saying before, like, just kind of goes off this. But, , so I, like what you were just saying, Abby, how like identifying those sin struggles that I was mentioning before that might cause me to operate in the flesh.
And Hannah, you were saying before talking about like fear is really being the root behind like that control. And like, that's also been a huge thing in my life. And I think many of us struggle with is like, Fear worry anxiety and so that has been like a huge one that the lord has helped me identify and I think So much of our food struggles are rooted in fear, right?
And that's like one of the enemy's biggest tactics. And so, um, I think like peeling back, like the layers behind that of what is the lie that's beneath that fear is really helpful then to know, like, God, what is your truth? Because if you know the truth, like we have a choice to either believe that or to believe a lie and keep walking as if we're still in bondage.
But we have the choice. Like Jesus has already done all the work. He is victorious. He has already won. We are more than conquerors through him. And so like that victory is ours and we can walk in that freedom, but we need to know it. Like what the truth is to believe it and receive it and actually walk that out.
Abbie: Yeah. Oh, a hundred percent. And would you agree, Haley, that the, to work on one fruit of the spirit, like they, they all kind of go together. And if you're working on one, you can also foster another because self control, especially if you are coming from such a restrictive mindset, maybe you are just very early in recovery, but eating disorder or in the thick of it, or just so restrictive working on self control might still, it might still be a slippery slope.
So maybe working on something like Peace, finding peace with food, making peace with forbidden foods or finding joy in the eating experience again, almost focusing there as like a first action step could maybe be good to like make peace with food, be like, allow yourself to eat this and then have more self control and discipline around it.
Haley: I feel like what God showed me in my own life and you guys tell me if you think it's different, but, um, I feel like when you're like truly like walking by the spirit, like you are bearing. All the fruit of the spirit, right? You're not just bearing like one and so it's like you're bearing love joy Like when I am like walking by the spirit Like all I want to do is love god and love his people like I am filled with his joy Like I am patient.
I am self controlled like I I experience all the fruit of the spirit. It's not really like one or the other Yeah, when you're under the spirit's control, we produce that fruit. And so when I'm not seeing that fruit in my life, that to me is a sign that, okay, there's something that maybe I am operating in the flesh that's causing me to not produce that fruit.
So like, That's where it's that prayer of like, Holy spirit, would you help me see what are those things that caused me to operate in the flesh? And like, for me, a huge thing is just worrying, you know, about different things in life. And so it's like, okay, I need to bring that to God in prayer and I can surrender that to him.
It doesn't mean like, I can't walk by the spirit, like I can repent and I can give it to him. I can cast my anxieties onto him and I asked him to take the throne because if I'm worrying or fearing, I'm trying to take control. I'm taking the throne of my heart. And so it's like, it's just really recognizing those sin struggles or things that might take us off course and really quickly identifying, confessing, repenting, like, Lord, would you take the throne of my heart?
I realized like I started to take the throne, please forgive me. Like only you are worthy to take that spot and I need your help. I can't do this life on my own strength. Um, and I don't have to, like, that's why you came to save me. And that's why you gave me your spirit to dwell inside of me, to, to Um, empower me to fill me to live this Christian life all for your glory.
So it's really just like, yeah, it's, it's not us doing it in our own strength. And, um, obviously like this whole life is one of it's prayer. It's faith, it's dependence on God to do only he can do. It's renewing our minds with his word. Um, it's all those things that we do daily, like those disciplines that really add up and help us.
walk in the freedom that Christ has for us, but it's an ongoing thing that we're doing for the rest of our Christian life until we see Jesus face to face. It's not like a one and done and you never have to practice these things. It's every day that spiritual discipline.
Abbie: That's good. Yeah. It's definitely a sanctification process.
Hannah: It's almost like we Because I'm thinking of like the clients that I've worked with in the past who have or struggling with eating disorders like active eating disorders It's almost like we need to have self control To not give into our fear to not give into our anxiety And so yes, you know, I feel like with fitness culture diet culture Whatever you want to call it like self control is very much like self control.
Don't eat cake self control like don't go to a restaurant But that's like the fleshly worldly twisted Definition or picture of what self control looks like and so even like in that surrender prayer I love that hayley mentioned earlier like we can say like god help me when I read your word To understand that these are your words.
That this is your living, breathing word and to not, um, like contaminate it with, with what the world might define as, as some of these words that are listed here, like self control and we can get it twisted. And so, so the self control to not try to be in control and the self control to not give in. I think of.
You know, OCD, like Haley talks about her anxiety. I have struggled with OCD and it's almost like you just do the compulsion to pacify the obsession. And eating disorders are very similar. Like, you do the compulsion to just quiet the voices, like, hypothetical, like, voices in your head telling you, like, you don't want to gain weight, food is bad, like, you're gonna get sick if you have this, like, We have to have the self control to trust in God and to not give in to our fleshly, uh, desires and, and the lies and the deceitfulness of the devil.
Like Haley mentioned earlier, it's so good.
Abbie: Yeah, that's good, Hannah. Yeah.
Haley: I think too, maybe you guys have experienced this in your own journeys with food, but like I mentioned this earlier, but like the more we try to control something, the more that thing controls us. And so like, for me with my, I struggle with an eating disorder, but it was more orthorexia like Obsession with clean, perfectionistic eating. And so my life was revolved around food and exercise. Um, and like everything I thought about was what I was going to eat, what I just ate, like it was all just thinking about food.
And so like the more, the more you try to control and restrict. The more that thing is just consuming your mind, right? Because you're giving all your attention, all your energy to that. And, that's why our minds are to be set on things above, like set on seeking first his kingdom and his righteousness.
And, um, this life isn't about food or bodies or exercise. Like we want to steward these bodies, like steward over the input, but even more so use this body all for his glory. And that's really the purpose of this life is Christ and Christ alone.
Abbie: Absolutely. Haley, thank you so much for all of your wisdom today.
I appreciate that. And we just love the work that you're doing. So y'all definitely follow Haley on social media. We'll have all of her links linked up below in the show notes. Thank you so much, Haley. We appreciate you. Thank
Haley: you so much for having me.
Thank you for joining us on this episode of your daily bread. We hope you found inspiration and practical guidance to nourish your body and soul. Remember the journey to a healthier relationship with food and a deeper connection with Christ is ongoing and we're here to support you every step of the way.
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As we conclude today's episode, we encourage you to take what resonated with you into your quiet time with God, allow God to reveal to you any changes that you can make for his glory, trusting that you are fearfully and wonderfully made in his image. Stay tuned for our next episode where we'll continue to explore how God's word helps us heal our relationship with food in our bodies Until then may you find both physical and spiritual nourishment and may you be filled with his peace and joy.
God bless
