Episode 18 Transcript
[00:00:00] Welcome to The Be About Being Better podcast, where we help people make evidence based sustainable. Small changes for their health that compounded the huge shifts towards a better, more vibrant life. I'm your host Abbie Stasior, a health and life coach, future registered dietician, a master's graduate from Columbia University, and a certified intuitive eating counselor.
And I believe that we can't make lasting or meaningful change single handedly. So I'm so happy that you're here so that together you can see that a diet free, sustainable lifestyle is possible, and you can leverage that to live a better life. And remember my disclaimer, This podcast is meant to give you general information.
And it's not meant to substitute or replace medical advice, a diagnosis or serve as treatment.[00:01:00] Hello? Hello y'all. I just wanna start this off by saying thank you. I really appreciate the positive feedback that we got from the last episode all about my gut health journey , y'all. It was a journey, and if you're having any sort of gut health issues, please listen to that episode and I hope it gives you hope that things can improve and there are non diet ways to go about starting to heal your gut health, and I hope that the episode gives you a list of things not to do . Um, but I know that some of you still have questions about. Things like the low FODMAP diet and different supplements, and should I still get the SIBO breath test or should I see a functional medicine doctor?
So just know we'll be doing follow up episodes on gut health related things, and specifically the low FODMAP diet because we just didn't have time for that episode. There's so much to pack in, but now we've kind of opened the door.
So we [00:02:00] will do episodes in the future, and if you have. specific gut health related questions, please shoot me a DM either on Instagram or TikTok or head to the show notes and join our free Facebook group. That's kind of our hub for everything podcast related, our be about being better community. We have over a thousand people that are in this Facebook group now, which is absolutely incredible.
And so this is our be about being better community. So definitely go in there. I'm always asking y'all what you think of the episodes. What were your takeaways? What would you like to see? This podcast is for you and I wanna make sure that we're giving you the episodes that you wanna hear. So please, um, join the Facebook group, be in that community.
That's also where we will be posting future details about our be about being better retreats. Yes, we will be having an in-person event probably this summer, probably in Nashville, cuz that's where I'm based. Just makes it easier and pretty centrally, like [00:03:00] located I feel like the Nashville airport tends to be really good.
I feel like flights can be pretty affordable, especially if you get them in in advance, um, through various airlines. Because people are coming here all the time for like bachelorette parties and stuff.
So anyway, there will be a retreat coming up soon for our Be about being better community. And I'm so excited about this cuz we had one before Covid, but then obviously with Covid, couldn't really host one. Um, and also New York City was just a crazy, not the best place to host, like a huge event. And Nashville will be so, so much better.
They're just better equipped for hosting a lot of people. So, um, well, we'll be posting details about that in the Facebook group, so definitely join the Facebook group. Awesome. And any gut health questions? Keep 'em coming, y'all. And one last thing about the gut health stuff, I just wanna say that I know last week, I talked about how little I was eating or drinking really when I was on that liquid nutrition diet for three [00:04:00] weeks and I was happy that I wasn't having any symptoms. But here's the thing about gut health issues. You cannot starve and restrict your way out of not having symptoms. You cannot heal by restricting your So we like not eating any food isn't the answer.
So you still have work to do. So yes, taking foods out, restricting, they might give you short-term relief, but we still need to make sure and work foods back in that you're able to tolerate so that you're meeting your nutrition needs and that takes some time. And so, But if you're somewhere right now where you're, you know that you're not eating enough, like we, we still have work to do on the journey because you can't starve your way in into healing.
That's not true healing. [00:05:00] And the other thing that, I'll say just this from what I've learned about gut health stuff, if you are having gut health symptoms, but you're not eating enough and you're in too much of a caloric deficit, you're restricting too much. Eating more can help resolve a lot of these things.
If you're not eating enough, your gut is not working properly, so that will cause a lot of issues like gas, bloating, reflux, irregular bowel movements as well. So a lot of the symptoms that you might be feeling might be caused by undereating. Now, that's not always. Like, like I said in the last episode, you gotta make sure to see a gastroenterologist.
You gotta, you know, rule out these big things. But there's also a sense like we can't even address the gut health issues if you're not eating enough first. So, you know, that's why it's important to get an individualized approach with this. Definitely take my quiz if you're curious about working with me.
And being in our be [00:06:00] about being better academy. See if that's for you. I'll just take the quiz, see which one of our programs is best for you, and then I'll reach out to you and get on a call and or chat in the dms to learn more about you and your goals and see what's best.
Um, but I think that's probably the best, best way to start to, to get individualized support with this. Cause everyone needs something. All right y'all, so for today's episode, we are going to be talking about New Year's resolutions because y'all, it is such a wild time of year. I'm sure y'all are getting so many different diet ads and different programs and detoxes and cleanses, and workout programs and just so many different things are being thrown your way, and it makes it really overwhelming. And I think every year we have this notion that we need to reinvent ourselves. We need New year, new you. And no, I mean, you have everything within you already to be able to succeed and develop more as a person.
You don't need to [00:07:00] reinvent the wheel and like search outward for support. You need to turn inward and recognize that you are an amazing person and you have so many gifts and talents and strengths, and it's like this year I want you to grow and develop yourself more so. Spending more time turning inward and recognizing how much you already have in you and how, how can you in this next year, bring more of that out from within you and recognize that, bring awareness to it, and then also bring it out and use it.
That's how you should be bettering yourself, not by looking to all these external things to try and change you or reinvent the wheel. No, you're already equipped with so many things to succeed. We just gotta bring that out from within. So that's what this episode's gonna be gonna be about and not about New Year's [00:08:00] resolutions, but how do we set goals for the new year that are coming at it from this different framework where we're, we're trying to bring the best version of ourselves that's already within us, out into the forefront.
That's what I wanna help y'all with today. So first we do, we need certain areas of our life that we want to improve, so, . That could be finances, that could be mental and emotional health, physical health.
That could be your spirit and your spirituality, your faith. That could be family, friends, life experiences. Um, that could also be your mission, your, your career, your calling, your purpose. Um, it could also be. Learning. Do you want to learn more this year and almost develop a personal curriculum for yourself?
So there's so many different areas of your life where you could set goals in. So I want you to maybe [00:09:00] think of three different areas of your life, like we have your physical health, maybe maybe your mental and emotional health, , or maybe your like mission in life. Your purpose was something career oriented and maybe friends.
I feel like I've been hearing a lot from my clients lately that they wish that they had more friends or higher quality relationships in person. Now that we're coming out more, we're engaging more in person socially. Again, people are realizing there's kind of a deficit when it comes to their friendships. And family stuff I feel like it's kind of a mixed bag as far as my client population goes. Some people have really close relationships with their family. Some people like they really wanna set goals in that area, but by and large, I'm finding that most everyone like really wants to work on the quality and quantity of their relationships.
Less about [00:10:00] the quantity, but more about the quality. Cuz at least from what I'm hearing for from clients that don't feel like they have a ton of friends in the season of life that they're in right now, like people that are in person, I find that people, a lot of friends, but their friends are spread out or they moved away.
They're married now, maybe have kids, but you might not be in that season of your life. So, um, they're just finding that there's a little bit of a deficit of those in-person relationships. And from what I'm hearing from y'all is that you don't need a ton of friends if you just had like a few, but they were high quality. Relationships where there was a lot of reciprocity. That's what's most important to you. So that, that's the feedback that I'm hearing. So anyway, you don't have to set goals in that area of your life, but pick three different areas versus setting three different physical health goals. I want you to be well-rounded.
I want you to be. like better in [00:11:00] various areas of your life and not so focused on nutrition and exercise and water. Like, yes, those are important things, but we have to expand our definition of what healthy living is. And if we're just so focused on our physical health and neglecting our relationships, neglecting career growth, neglecting our finances, that's not a well balance.
life, you're not gonna feel aligned. You're not gonna feel vibrant. We need to set goals in various areas of our lives, and I just want you to stick to three. We can't do everything all at once. And then maybe you set a calendar reminder for every three months. So quarterly you're having a check-in with yourself, or maybe that's every six months you're evaluating, okay, like, how am I doing on these goals?
Do I need to set, did I hit these goals? and improve my life in these areas. Do I need to focus on different areas of my life for the second half of the year? So set, set calendar reminders. I definitely, cause we always think, oh [00:12:00] yeah, I'll remember in six months. No you won't. No, you will not set calendar reminders.
We always need an extra push notification. That's what I do for myself. I always need that extra push notification, and I'm always so grateful when I see something on that calendar that it's like I definitely put that note in there or that appointment reminder like six to nine months ago, and I'm like, you know what?
Previous me was really thinking about future me and. . I just want to thank me for loving me and , you know, like you just feel so grateful. So definitely do that for yourself and have those quarterly check-ins to assess, okay, how am I doing this year? Because you're only going to consistently grow and better yourself if you're having those check-ins with yourself and evaluating what's working is what's not.
So pick three areas of your life and then you're gonna have, you're gonna start with one. For each of those areas of your life, and we wanna get [00:13:00] really, really specific. I mean, think smart goals. We want them to be specific. We want them to be measurable. We want them to be attainable. Achievable. We want them to be realistic.
We want them to be relevant to what's going on in your life right now. We want them to be time bound. We need them to look like smart goals. So it's not just, I wanna exercise more, but it's like, I want to do resistance training, or I want to do Pilates, or I wanna go to two orange theory classes. Like or say, if you wanna do Pilates, I wanna do Pilates at home three times a week for at least 20 minutes.
Boom. That is. a super great goal. It's super, super specific and it's measurable cuz you can see, okay, am I actually doing that for 20 minutes, three times a week? And then maybe you could say for at least [00:14:00] three months, and then have it check in on your calendar, see how am I doing with that? And assess is this goal working?
Is it like, well I'm not really feeling called to. do Pilates anymore. I really want to get more cardio in or, or lift weights or do something different or, mm, three days a week really isn't working for me. Really just need to do two or like, oh no, I'm crushing three days a week. Let's bump up to four, or, I'm really doing 20 minutes.
Let's see if I can do 30 or 35. So play. Play around with that. Let's set a really specific goal for each area of your life. , I want you to go through our seven layers deep y exercise. Dean Graziosi, uh, gave me the inspiration for this. It's in his book. Millionaire Success Habits. That's one of his most recent books. So good. So in the earlier chapters, he talks about his seven layers Deep. Why exercise? And we've talked about this before on the podcast. . But essentially, if you haven't heard it, [00:15:00] you start with your goal at the top.
I wanna exercise three days a week, uh, and do Pilates for at least three months. For for 20 minutes a, a time, three times a week for at least three months. Okay, great. So that's our really, really specific goal. Then you're gonna ask yourself why seven times? and you're gonna get almost seven degrees removed away from that way.
So why is it important for me to do Pilates three times a week for at least 20 minutes? For at least three months? Because I want more energy and I know that when I work out in the morning I, or at least three times a week, and I move my body in. That way I have more energy. Then you're gonna ask yourself why again, why is it I.
For you to have more energy? Well, when I have more energy, I'm more productive at work, I, I show up better. Why is it important for you to show up better and be more productive at work? Well, I'm trying to get a raise, [00:16:00] trying to get promoted. Why is it important for you to get promoted and have a raise?
Well, I'm, you know, I, I'm really trying to, Save more money or pay off debt. And maybe that relates to one of your other goals. If you also set goals in, in finances and you, and you have a financial goal this year, maybe that, maybe that's part of, Hey, I'm trying to hit these specific financial goals. Why is it important for you to hit those specific financial goals and, and pay off your debt?
And then you could, you can keep going with all of this. you will get farther and farther away from the initial goal because if you are only exercising and setting goals because, oh, it'll make you feel good, or, oh, I'm just gonna exercise cuz I wanna lose weight this year, or I'm exercising because I want more energy or I wanna get more flexible.
That's not enough to motivate you to do that consistently. over the course of the year, over [00:17:00] 365 days, it's not enough. You're not emotionally tied to it. So we need to dig deeper. And when you start to peel back the layers, you start to feel more emotionally attached to your why. Around why number four, when you ask yourself why four times?
But once you get to seven, it's like you hit it. And one time I kept going on that line of questioning with a client and. I know some of you have heard this story before, but some of you may, may not have. We got to why number four? And she was like, yeah, I'm really trying to hit these financial goals. I'm trying to pay off my debt.
I asked her why again, and you know, because I'm really trying to save up to do these special things with my family and like end up providing for my I wanna give my kids a different life, a different future, set them up differently.
I wanna give them the financial security that I didn't have, and that was so powerful and that is such a [00:18:00] better reason and a more motivating why to exercise consistently. Because you know, it's not just about you and today, but it's about how the small actions today are going to snowball and have a ripple effect to bring your life forward and improve your life in your future, in, in ways that you want to.
And it's not just about you anymore . It ends up in that example being about family and your kids and your significant other and their future, not just about you. And we are so much more motivated to do things and do things consistently when it's not just about us, but there's other people at stake. So it's important to, yes, write goals this year, but you're not going to be consistent with that year round.
if you don't have a strong why, for [00:19:00] why you want to reach those goals, and if you don't feel emotionally attached to your why. So this seven layers deep exercise gets you emotionally attached to your why. I mean, you will be springing out of bed in the morning when you remember that. That's how emotionally attached you should be to your why, and you should find some way to keep that in your line of vision.
whether that's putting it on a vision board or having that as the background to your phone, or a sticky note that you put on your mirror or on your computer. Like you need this in your line of vision to remember what your why is. And maybe your sticky note just says you're doing it for them and you know, or, or whatever your why is, you know that there's so many different directions that that can go.
But do not skip this step. I would rather you not set goals this new year, if you are not going to do the why exercise, because I can guarantee you, you will be consistent for a couple weeks. Maybe you can muster a little over a [00:20:00] month, but then I guarantee you'll fall off the wagon. You will not be consistent because in order to be consistent, You need a stronger motivation.
You need something from within you to pull you outta bed, to make you take action on the days that you don't feel like it. And there's always gonna be days that we don't feel like it. So you need something deeper to pull you, to drive you to take action on the days that you don't want to.
So that step is so, so important. Can't skip the why. Then you have to start to think, okay, what would be my first step? What would I need to, like, I'm looking at the goal, what would be the first step that I need to take? And just ask yourself, just write down like one action step. How would I get started? So for the workouts, it's like, well, you might have to decide first, am I going to look up Pilates classes on YouTube?
Am I going to sign up with a studio [00:21:00] and go to a physical place? A combination of that? You gotta figure out, like what would be the first step? And for you, you might already know.
Yep. I'm gonna look on YouTube. So maybe the first step for you is buying a yoga mat or getting some new workout clothes or sitting down looking at your schedule and putting those Pilate sessions in your calendar like an appointment. Maybe that's the first step for you. Or setting calendar reminders to remind you to take a 20 minute break to do Pilates . So you gotta figure out for you what is the first step, and then after that, if you have a couple action steps after that, you, you can write those down if you want to, but at least get one action step down. And then the next step for setting really, really good goals for the year is to think about the obstacles, think about the limitations, cuz you know yourself, you know, you've set goals in the past.
Haven't achieved them, or you were doing so great and taking action for a couple months, but then the effort fizzled out so you know that we've all been there. We've all [00:22:00] been there. So I want you to think about it and be objective. What are some of your limitations? What do you anticipate being some of the obstacles that would come up that would prevent you from hitting your goals this year?
And what can you do to mitigate those things? and what will you do in those situations already? Start to be proactive and thinking about your solutions in those different scenarios. Why have you fizzled out in the past? Maybe your goal was too lofty, you put too much pressure on yourself. Maybe you didn't have a strong enough why you didn't go through the Y exercise.
So what are action steps that you can take to combat? changing the goal of making it more realistic, more attainable, you know, more measurable, actually sitting down to do the Y exercise. Maybe writing down a couple things you'll say to yourself to work through different excuses that tend to come up for you and like [00:23:00] actually planning out, like you can't just go in, oh, this year will be different now because I say it will be different.
No, this year will be different because you're planning for it to be different and you're. Preparing for different excuses and obstacles to come up and trying to combat those or mitigate those from happening. So you have to do that step as well. This stuff doesn't take that long. I mean, you could spend like five minutes doing all of this stuff and, and journaling it out really per goal.
Doesn't have to take a lot of time. , but this time is an important investment so that you actually follow through on your goals later. You cannot rely on willpower and discipline. Those are fleeting. Those are very limited resources that we have. We can't rely on that. We need some systems in our lives. We need some forward, proactive planning to mitigate and prevent some of the mistakes that we've made in the past.
So that's how you set good goals and the way that. [00:24:00] really bring your best self out from within this year, versus relying on external things to change. It's like you don't need to reinvent the wheel. You already have a best self within you, and we just need to bring that out. And I think the best way to do that is to set goals in multiple areas of your life so that your goals are really well-rounded this year, not just focusing on your physical health.
And you can always add on goals as you go, but just start with one in three different areas. Maybe that's finances. Maybe that's . Spirituality. Maybe that's your mental and emotional health. Maybe it's around friends, family experiences, learning more. Your mission, your career could be so many different things, so many different areas of your life.
But set goals in three different areas. Set one goal in three different areas and keep it really specific. And then go through these steps. What is your goal? Get really specific. Why is that goal important to you? And get [00:25:00] seven layers deep. Ask yourself why seven times? Then what's the first thing that you would do?
Write down the action step. What's the first thing that you would do? And then what are the obstacles? What do I anticipate being a challenge in me following through on this all year round? and then starting to brainstorm what would I, what would I do to mitigate that or prevent that obstacle from happening?
Or what would I do in, in that given scenario if that obstacle or challenge comes up? And that's how we set goals the be about being better way. Y'all let me know what your goals are. Send me a dm, join the Facebook group in the show notes, that's where we have the link to the Facebook group.
Once you join that and you're in our community, let me know what your goals are there and, and I'm so excited to support you this year. If you feel like you need more support, closer support, customized experiences, accountability, a community. Then take my quiz, see if the be about being Better Academy is for you.
Honestly, we got spots flying off the shelves. We got applications [00:26:00] coming in all the time, so. spots are filling up, but it's not too late. We have several spots left for our next class that's gonna be starting in January, 2023. Uh, it'll probably start towards the end of January to kind of give people time through the holidays and things like that.
So we'll continue enrollment through most of January and then start at the end so you have time. It is not too late. Take my quiz. It's really quick, it's fun. See which one of our coaching programs could be for you, and especially if it's the Bee about being Better Academy.
That's the program where I work the most closely with clients. That's where we have the most community, the most accountability, the most customization, and honestly, after coaching people for almost five years now, that's what you need. You need the community, you need the customization, you need the accountability.
You need all the resources we're gonna give you if, if you really want to better yourself this year, so take the quiz, see if the academy is for. If it is, you can apply right there, right after the quiz. It's a short little application, and then I'll reach out to you and we'll see if [00:27:00] the academy's best for you. And after I review the applications, normally get on a call with whoever the applicant is and we kind of draft out your customized plan.
I see what your goals are, what you need to reach those goals. I give you all the details about the program, and then you tell me if you think it's a good fit for you, and you tell me if it's something that you wanna join and, and we go from there, Yay. All right, y'all. Well, I will talk with you soon and I'll see you in the next episode. Hey y'all. Thanks again for listening to the Be About Being Better podcast. I so appreciate you. If this episode made you laugh, smile, think about yourself or your life differently, in any way, making your life better, I empower you to share the show with three people who just like you, need to hear this message and have this type of transformation in their lives.
I personally read all the reviews the show and see the [00:28:00] Instagram story shares. It honestly gives me so much joy to see that our mission is making people's lives better, and the reviews really do help in increasing our impact. So thank you so much for taking the time to do that. If you need personalized support with anything discussed in today's episode or need help creating a sustainable diet free lifestyle, take my quiz.
It's linked below in the show notes, and that quiz will help you see which one of our coaching programs is right for you. Thank you so much again for listening and hears to being about being better.
